Drunks and Daughters
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: When Gildarts hears of a woman that can drink like a man and has the body of a vixen, he just has to meet her! ...Until he realizes he already has. - One-shot.


Drunks and Daughters

There was nothing Gildarts Clive liked more than a job well done drink after completing a job. Well, sex, obviously, but when that wasn't on the table, drinking was just as good. Even when he hadn't completed a job, like in that moment, it was still great. Just great.

One of the best things was when he found someone to drink with him. Women, of course, were preferable. Or, when he was in Magnolia, Cana was the best (though if he was honest with himself, he mainly drank with her because he knew with him looming over her shoulder, no guy would dare try to take her home. Or if he did, it would only be once).

At that exact moment though, he had found that no one of interest was around. At all. He was in a drab little town with the tiniest bar he'd ever been in. It was rather rundown, but he wasn't the pickiest of fellows when he was as deprived of alcohol as he felt in that moment.

As he was seated on the shoddily made stool, hunched over and thinking about where he was headed next, if perhaps he should head back home to check on his daughter, when a man sat down next to him. He was a rather muscular man, with these odd, dark blue armor plates covering his arms while the rest of his upper torso was exposed. Gildarts gave him a hard look for a moment.

"I know you?" he asked, frowning over at him. The drunk only ordered some straight whiskey, before shrugging. "Nah, I do know you. I think I've seen you around or something."

"Name's Bacchus," the man said, glancing at him. "World renowned wizard. Ring any bells?"

"Maybe," Gildarts said slowly. "What sort of magic do you use?"

So that's how the two started their talk. On magic and such. And Gildarts had to admit, he was an excellent drinking partner. He could keep up with the best of them, that man could. And his style of magic was interesting, so intricate, that Gildarts was shocked when they began to discuss anything else.

But they were. Because with all drunk men, it did not take long for the thought of a woman to enter their minds. And then they were swapping stories and having a grand old time. Gildarts had been rather isolated as of late and welcomed his new drinking pal with open arms. Even the bartender seemed to get a kick out of the two of them.

"Ah, but the best woman I ever met," the man, Bacchus, was going on at one point as Gildarts downed another beer. "She was the biggest drinker I'd ever seen. Woman, at least."

"Really now," Gildarts said, wagging his eyebrows. "Sounds like my kinda lady here."

"You'd of loved her, man. Big tits, hardly any clothes, and the tolerance level of any man. Any normal man, anyhow. Beat her, of course, when we started drinking. Left her in the freaking dust. Even got a little memento from that night. Didn't get her in bed, but that was 'cause, well, I was so busy that night."

"Memento, you say?" Gildarts interest was more than peaked.

"Yep. Snatched it right off her, man. In fact-" He stopped then before reaching down, into his pockets to produce a tiny, wrinkled up blue bra. At the sight of it, Gildarts nearly dropped his mug. That looked like- "Got it right here. Man. That Fairy Tail chick, think her name was Cama or Cata or something, she didn't even know what hit her!"

And neither did Bacchus, a moment later, as Gildarts' fist connected with his face with tremendous force. It was the worst blow the drunk had ever received. He fell back from his stool with a loud, "Oof!"

"That's for thinking about my daughter like that!" Gildarts yelled then as he jumped up. The other patrons of the tiny bar were in awe then as they glanced over. Not that Gildarts cared.

"And this is for trying to get me to think of her like that!" Then he brought his foot down over the other man's face, smashing it. After retrieving the bra, he marched right back out of bar, ignoring the calls of the bartender. It wasn't a question of where he was going then. Home was the only option.

* * *

><p>"Wow, Cana," Mirajane said as she watched the other woman down another barrel of alcohol. "It's amazing that you have any brain cells left at all."<p>

"What're ya tryin' ta say there, Mira?" the drunk slurred as she moved to lean against the bar. Laxus, who had been trying to sit there and talk about his plans for the night with Mira, only frowned at her.

'That you're a drunk," he grumbled. Cana laughed at that before nearly falling over, having to reaching out lay hand on him to keep herself from toppling over. "Get your hands off me!"

"Behave, Laxus," Mira sighed as Cana only pushed away from him to lay her head back down on the bar. "You know, you could try and be a little kinder to other people some time."

"Kind? _Kind_? I am kind, Mira. I let you have basically all the blankets last night."

"That's not kind," she told him. "That's just you afraid of bothering a demon when she's sleeping."

"Smart move," Elfman told him from further down the bar, where he was seated with Evergreen. "Had to wake Mirajane up thousands of times. And I bear the scars from all of them."

Just then, loud bells began to toll. Mirajane looked up at them before grinning at Cana.

"Sounds like your father-"

"Gildarts is back!" Natsu cut her off. He had previously been over at a table, eating dinner with Lucy and Happy.

"This is a first," Lucy mumbled to Happy who only frowned at her.

"What is?"

"He actually stopped eating for something."

He had too. Instead, he was bouncing up and down, over by the guildhall doors, awaiting the arrival of the man. And when he walked through the doors, there was not a single person in the guild as happy as Natsu. The first words out of his mouth were.

"Fight me, Gild-"

Then the man hit him, sending the younger one flying across the room, where he promptly smashed against a wall. Ignoring everyone else then, the usually cheery marched across the room to where Cana was drunkenly wagging a finger at Laxus, lecturing him on his behavior, a scowl etched across his face.

"Cana," he hissed as he got over to her. At the sound of her name, the woman glanced at him before grinning some more.

"Gildarts!" She greeted. "What are you-"

"I believe _this_ is yours," he growled as he tossed the article of clothing clutched in his hands at her. Cana didn't catch it, of course she didn't, as she was too far gone at that point, but she did lean down to retrieve it from the ground…and ended up falling on her face.

"Ugh," she groaned. "Mirajane, another barrel, please."

Gildarts only narrowed his eyes down at her then as Cana slowly got t her feet. "Don't think that I won't follow you around for the rest of your life, kid. 'cause if that's what I have to do-"

"Don't be such a downer, old man," she laughed as she went to sit back down. "And where'd you find this thing, anyhow? Eh? Thought I'd lost it."

"Where-" He stopped himself then, turning red. He was usually so kind to her, so overly loving, in a vain attempt to make up for all the time he hadn't been there. At the moment though, he found the emotions he was feeling more complex than any he had ever encountered. "You tell me, Cana! Does a man named Bacchus ring a bell?"

Mirajane was wide eyed then as she watched them while Laxus only snorted, turning his music up louder. Everyone in the guildhall, though, had stopped to watch them. Cana only glanced over her shoulder at her father for a minute before shrugged.

"Not really. Where-"

Gildarts let out a huff then before turning to storm back off. Natsu was up by that point and running back over to him. Gildarts only reached out and hit him in the stomach that time, bringing the other man to his knees. And just like that, Gildarts left the hall.

"Pssht," Cana snorted as she went back to staring at her long lost top. Then, glancing up at Mirajane, she asked, "What's his problem?"

Mira only blinked though before looking to Laxus. He only shrugged in response.

"He's a drunk," Makarov said from where he was seated atop the counter of the bar. Having seen the whole thing, he only let out a sigh before glancing back at the guildhall doors. "He's a drunk who's adjusting to having a daughter."

"Well, anyhow, how's that barrel coming along, Mira? Eh? Eh?"

She only nodded slightly then. "Sure thing, Cana."

It was much later that night, when the bar was closing up that Gildarts showed up. Mirajane called out to him that they were closing as he entered, but he only shook his head, heading over to the table where Cana had passed out.

"I was gonna have Laxus take her home when we got ready to leave," Mira told him as he went over to her. Gildarts only sighed though, easily lifting Cana into his arms.

"She can come home with me. Just for the night."

"Won't like it in the morning, I bet," Laxus commented from where he was still over by the bar, waiting for his girlfriend to finish closing up.

Gildarts only snorted though before turning to, thankfully head out of the bar through the doors.

"Wow," Mira remarked to Laxus. "He went the whole day without breaking a single thing."

"Don't get too excited," he sighed as he messed with his Sound Pod. "Sure that means there'll be two broke walls tomorrow."

Outside though, Gildarts only stared down at his drunken daughter who was cradled in his arms, the bra that he had brought back to her clutched in one hand. When she peeked an eye open to stare at him, he couldn't help, but to smile down at her.

"You seem happier," she remarked before shifting in his arms. "Let me down. I ain't a child. I'm-"

"You're my child," he reminded as he only held tighter to her. She was too drunk to put up much of a fight anyhow.

"Where we goin'?" she complained as he headed away from her apartment. "Gildarts?"

He ignored her though until she relaxed and fell back into whatever sort of stupor she was coming in and out of. When they made it to his tiny, one room home, he only kicked open the door before heading inside.

"There you go," he sighed as he went to drop her down on the bed as tenderly as possible. "Cana."

"Mmmm?" She stirred a little, peeking her eyes open again to glance at him.

"From now on," he added as he went to go shut and lock the door. "I'm the only man that gets to take you home. Deal?"

"Be quiet, old man," she grumbled as she rolled over in an attempt to get more comfortable. "And your bed smells like booze."

"Sor-"

"Didn't say I hate it."

He made a face then before grinning, because Cana had never slept over before. And he had a feeling she never would again. Letting out a sigh then, he went to go cover her over some, as well as help her pull her pesky shoes off.

After that though, he really didn't know what to do with himself. He knew that it was out of the question for them to share the bed, but his apartment was so tiny, there wasn't a lot of other places for him to go.

"Slept in worse places," he sighed as he went to go take a seat at that wooden chair in his room. Then, glancing over at his daughter, he couldn't help the grin that spread across his lips. "And for a lot worse reasons."

* * *

><p><strong>I actually rather like Bacchus and Cana paired together, but I've had this idea since seeing episode 161, which was only a few days ago. And yeah, I could have left the LaxusMira stuff out, but then I wouldn't be me, would I? **


End file.
